Central Truth

I trusted you, God! Where are You? They despise me! I am mocked . . . I am encircled . . . poured out . . . melted . . . dried up . . . pierced . . . . They seek to destroy me! Why aren't You here now!

You answered me!

My trust was not wasted. You are real and reliable. I can say "You did not fail my trust in you." You heard me! You acted.

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Reflections

This Psalm is about the ugliest portion of life, and about God's actions during that time. It is about the apparent failure of God to care. It is about pain, loss and fear sufficiently intense to wipe truth from the mind. It is about your profound certainty of God abandoning you at the worst possible moment. Why would such a thing be in the Bible? Why is this apparent failure of God so powerfully portrayed. Isn't God about niceness and love. Isn't God about keeping us safe and happy? No. That is Santa Claus. He was last month.

David wrote this Psalm memorializing the depth of his painful vulnerability, because his pain and fear were that intense. It was so overwhelming that he lost connection with his faith, with his community, and with his character. Yes, in the second half of the psalm, he records the force of his outrageous joy over God's answer. What meaning, however, does that joy have without recording the pain? Without the pain and fear, it looks like a platitude, a polite fiction papering over unmentionable ugliness. Santa Claus is a polite lie, a useful fiction. Yahweh is greater than the greatest ugliness of life.

There are powerful things in life that reduced even our Savior to profound grief, despair and loneliness. Jesus, the Christ, faced ugliness powerful enough that the pain pierced the full depth of his soul. When it did, he mentioned this Psalm. His lostness needed to be stated to us, if we are to experience the force of outrageous joy that His salvation brings. It is traversing pain, fear, and loneliness that deepens the soul to the capacity to contain salvation joy.

Do I wish this path was not needed? Yes. No. Thirteen years ago, I was certain. I wanted God to act! Now! Today? I benefit greatly from the soul deepening. I know the truth is that I serve a God greater than the greatest ugliness. This gives me informed joy and freedom. I know the scope of grace far exceeds my capacity for pain. God's love never leaves . . . regardless of my capacity to access it.

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Discussion Questions

1. Have you had a devastating loss or harm? Was there a time you could not access God's love? If so, was that a failure of God or you? Or a fact of God's grace exceeding your capacity for pain?
2. If you have not had such an ugliness yet, whom have you watched go through one? Does their response to the ugliness, seem different if their inability to "trust God" was simply legitimate pain saturation?
3. If Christ citing this Psalm means David's writing expresses Christ's emotions, what do you learn about Him? What does it mean that Christ felt abandoned and unanswered?
4. Can you accept that God will leave you in pain and yet love you? Will you trust Him knowing He will traverse you through your breaking point?
5. Will you rest when everything cries out in you to act and you are certain He has failed you?

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